71st Annual Golden Globe Awards Results and Commentary

  • Date of Ceremony: Sunday, January 12, 2014
  • For films released in: 2013
Other years:

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Welcome to DigitalHit’s coverage of the 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards.

8:00 PM

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler take to the stage for a second year. Said Poehler, “This is Hollywood, so if something kind of works, they’ll just keep doing it until everyone hates it.” “There are still great roles in Hollywood for Meryl Streep’s over sixty.”

Talking about The Wolf of Wall Street, Poehler quipped, “If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I would have gone to one of Jonah Hill’s pool party.” Fey said about Gravity that, “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.” Talking about Dallas Buyers Club Fey pointed out that Matthew McConaughey, “lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call ‘being in a movie.’”

8:10 PM

Our first presenters, Sandra Bullock and Tom Hanks. They’re doing the envelope duties for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture. And the Golden Globe goes to Jennifer Lawrence for American Hustle.

“Years ago I watched a movie called I Heart Huckabees, and I was so in awe and floored by this completely unchartered humor. So I Googled who made it, and I saw that it was the same director from Three Kings, Flirting with Disaster and Save the Monkey. I just thought this is the most brilliant man in every single way. I just think that, by some weird twist of fate, that that’s the same man who made my career is so weird and wonderful.” – Jennifer Lawrence

8:13 PM

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis present Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture made for Television/ And the Golden Globe goes to Jacqueline Bisset for Dancing on the Edge. The show will be over 3 hours by the time she makes it to the stage. She’s quite stunned.

“God. I think it was 47 years ago that the Hollywood Foreign Press gave me a promising nomination — a promising newcomer. Thank you very much Hollywood Foreign Press. I’m absolutely shaking. I can’t believe this. God knows. You’ve nominated me about five times, I think. Anyway.” – Jacqueline Bisset

Bisset’s speech takes so long to get started and she pauses so much that the producers just give up and cut to commercial.

8:22 PM

Naomi Watts and Mark Ruffalo team up for Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture made for Television hardware duties. And the Golden Globe goes to Behind the Candelabra.

“Thank you very, very much. I appreciate — this has been just a great ride, a fantastic year. First, Steven Soderbergh and Jane Weintraub and the great production staff we had, the great support from HBO, from Richard Plepler and Mike Lombardo and Len Amato and Quentin and Nancy and Paul Bloch and everybody behind the scenes that really does the work. We got a lot of craft awards this year, which I’m really happy for because the crew does it all. I get all the credit. I get to stand here and drink the vodka and hold the statue. Thank you all very much.” – Jerry Weintraub

8:25 PM

Mark and Naomi are now handing out Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture made for Television. And the Golden Globe goes to Elisabeth Moss in Top of the Lake.

“And just most of all to my family, to my mom and my brother, who is smarter and more talented than I ever will be and my mom who I hope to one day be one-tenth of the woman you are. Thank you so much. This is for you, mom.” – Elisabeth Moss

Ok…they need a clearer path to the stage. Half an hour could be chopped from the show just there.

8:28 PM

Matt Damon introduces the clip for Captain Phillips.

8:34 PM

Amy and Tina make fun of fake HFPA members and their integrity before introducing the HFPA president.

8:36 PM

Jonah Hill and Margot Robbie are given the wrong script on the teleprompter before introducing the clip for The Wolf of Wall Street.

8:37 PM

Aaron Eckhart and Paula Patton (in a bizarre dress) present Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama. And the Golden Globe goes to Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad.

“This is such a wonderful honor and such a lovely way to say good-bye to the show that meant so much to me. We are — I was always very grateful that the show resonated with American audiences, but now, through this and the Hollywood Foreign Press, everyone around the world will be able to share in Breaking Bad’s mirth and merriment. I’m up here because Vince Gilligan is a genius.” – Bryan Cranston

8:41 PM

Aaron and Paula now present Best Television Series – Drama. And the Golden Globe goes to Breaking Bad.

“I’ve got to say the best thing about this, I think, is that it gives us, all the people up here and all the folks who worked on Breaking Bad, one more chance to thank the fans of the show, especially the early adopters, as they say in the electronics business, the folks who were watching since season 1, the grim days when we had very little viewership. Thank you for helping us get to here.” – Vince Gilligan

8:48 PM

Steve Coogan and Philomena Lee introduce the clip for Philomena.

8:49 PM

Kate Beckinsale, Sean Combs and Usher present Original Score. And the Golden Globe goes to Alex Ebert for All is Lost.

“J.C., thank you for having the faith to see what I had done before and see that you thought that I could do this. Even the most deft pen is a clumsy tool, and yet we still try for magic, and thanks for letting me try all over your movie.” – Alex Ebert

The trio now present the nominees for Best Original Song. And the Golden Globe goes to Bono, Adam Clayton, The Edge, Larry Mullen Jr. and Brian Burton for Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom’s “Ordinary Love”.

“This is amazing. We have been working for President Mandela since the ’70s, since we were teenagers and when we did our very first concert against the Apartheid movement. So it’s taken us 35 years to write this song.” – The Edge

9:02 PM

Amber Heard, Taylor Kinney and Jesse Spencer are presenting Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture made for Television. And the Golden Globe goes to Jon Voight for Ray Donovan.

“ I’m so grateful to the Hollywood Foreign Press for this great honor. I’m truly humbled to be among my talented peers. Working with the cast of Ray Donovan is an endless joy, and I’m very grateful for that. It wouldn’t be possible without the genius of our creative creator, Ann Biderman.” – Jon Voight

9:06 PM

A pregnant Olivia Wilde in a form-fitting emerald dress presents the clip for Her.

9:06 PM

Robert Downey Jr. is presenting Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy. And the Golden Globe goes to Amy Adams for American Hustle.

“I always cry when I’m not supposed to, and then, when a director asks me to cry, I can’t cry. It really sucks. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Hollywood Foreign Press, thank you. Thank you to all of the nominees in the category with me, all the actresses out here. You guys are awesome. I love you. Thank you so much to Sony and Amy Pascal. Megan Ellison, I can’t say enough about how much your support has meant to me. David, you write some amazing roles for women. Thank you so much for letting the world know that a princess can punch and wear a low‑cut gown.” – Amy Adams

9:14 PM

Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon introduce Miss Golden Globe, their daughter, Sosie.

Kevin and Kyra then introduce the nominees for Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama. And the Golden Globe goes to Robin Wright for House of Cards.

“Thank you, Fincher, for convincing me to do this because he said, ‘You can create her, and let her come out of marble if you want.’ I said, ‘Okay. Great.’ Kevin, you are the best play date ever. And MRC, Netflix, everybody, our crew — I’m not going to go through the thing you’ve all have heard 8 million times. Thank you everybody. I really appreciate this.” – Robin Wright

9:19 PM

Jim Carrey presents the clip for American Hustle.

9:21 PM

Christoph Waltz is at the mic now to present Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture. And the Golden Globe goes to Jared Leto for Dallas Buyers Club.

“Wow. I’d like to use this opportunity to clear up a few things. I did not ever use any prosthetics in this film. That tiny little Brazilian bubble butt was all mine. It was a very transformative role, and I had to do a lot of things to prepare. One of the things that I did was wax my entire body, including my eyebrows. I’m just fortunate that it wasn’t a period piece, so I didn’t have to do full Brazilian — ladies, you know what I’m talking about. So do some of you men, I think.” – Jared Leto

9:28 PM

Emma Thompson comes to the stage with a cocktail to present Best Screenplay. And the Golden Globe goes to Spike Jonze for Her.

“I’m a terrible public speaker, and I’m bad at speaking English, and it’s the only language I know, so bear with me.” – Spike Jonze

9:31 PM

Laura Dern is presenting the clip for Nebraska, which stars her dad, Bruce Dern.

9:33 PM

Julie Bowen and Seth Myers are doing the envelope tasks for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy. And the Golden Globe goes to a surprised Andy Samberg for Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

“Oh, no. I didn’t prepare anything. It wasn’t going to happen. You guys are the Globes. Right? Who knew. I guess I’ll just thank everyone. “ – Andy Samberg

9:41 PM

Orlando Bloom and Zoe Saldana are presenting Best Foreign Language Film. And the Golden Globe goes to The Great Beauty.

9:43 PM

Tina and Amy introduce Jimmy Fallon and Melissa McCarthy. Jimmy says Melissa got hit on the head and thinks she’s Matt Damon. They present Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture made for Television. And the Golden Globe goes to Michael Douglas for Behind the Candelabra.

“…I get this incredible gift — a LaGravenese screenplay, great, great producers, a wonderful cast — Rob, Scott, all here. We’ve all acknowledged all the wonderful crafts and costumes, production, design, all of the areas. But there’s two people in particular that I really want to acknowledge — Matt Damon — the bravest, talented actor I’ve ever worked with, and the only reason you’re not here is I had more sequins…and Steven Soderbergh, what can I say? He’s the director. He’s the director, he’s the cameraman. He’s also the editor. So I want to thank him so much.” – Michael Douglas

9:52 PM

Chris Pine and Emma Watson are presenting Animated Feature. And the Golden Globe goes to Frozen.

“Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press and to Peter Del Vecho and the amazing songwriters, Bobby and Kristen Lopez. You are also our story partners. To the artists of Disney animations and the most fearless, amazing note-belting cast ever, we couldn’t have done Frozen without each and every one of you.” – Jennifer Lee

9:54 PM

Colin Farrell introduces the clip for Inside Llewyn Davis.

9:55 PM

Emilia Clarke and Chris O’Donnell are presenting Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy. And the Golden Globe goes to Amy Poehler for Parks and Recreation.

“I am just so thrilled to be a part of this evening among such great people as you. And I never win, so I can’t believe I won. Thank you so much for including me, Hollywood Foreign Press. And for all of you that I’ve forgotten, I owe you a deep debt of gratitude, and you know who you are. Thank you very, very, very much.” – Amy Poehler

10:02 PM

Tina congratulates Amy before they introduce Emma Stone. She’s announcing the Cecil B. DeMille presentation for Woody Allen. Diane Keaton comes out to accept for Woody, who’s not there.

“Anyway, it’s kind of hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that 179 of the world’s most captivating actresses have appeared in Woody’s films, and there’s a reason for this, you know, the reason is they wanted to, and they wanted to because Woody’s women can’t be compartmentalized, right? I mean, they struggle, they love, they fall apart, they dominate, they’re funny, they’re flawed. They are, in fact, the hallmark of Woody’s work, but even more remarkable is that absolutely nothing links these unforgettable characters from the fact that they came from the mind of Woody Allen, right? And there you have it. There you have it — Woody’s mind.” – Diane Keaton

10:15 PM

Liam Neeson is presenting the clip for Gravity.

10:16 PM

Ben Affleck is presenting Best Director. And the Golden Globe goes to Alfonso Cuaron for Gravity.

“Because of my thick accent, they end up doing what they thought I said, not what I really said. I’m sure some of the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press will sympathize with this. Sandra, you are the most amazing collaborator. I want to thank you for not quitting when you thought that I have told you, ‘Sandra, I’m going to give you herpes,’ when I really meant to say, ‘Sandra, I’m going to give you an earpiece.’” – Alfonso Cuaron

10:19 PM

Tina makes fun of Michael Bay’s Samsung incident before introducing Uma Thurman and Chris Evans. They’re presenting Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy. And the Golden Globe goes to Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

“I also want to thank our incredible cast, including Golden Globe winner Andy Samberg. You’re amazing. Our very talented crew, our writers who never get to see their families. I will wrap up. I also want to thank Mike Schur, who co-created this show with me, who’s the smartest, funniest man I know and also a very good human being. I’d like to thank my wife and two kids, even the 2 1/2‑year‑old, who is a nightmare.” – Daniel J. Goor

10:26 PM

Jennifer Lawrence is here to hand out Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy. And the Golden Globe goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for The Wolf of Wall Street.

“First and foremost, I have to thank Mr. Martin Scorsese. Thank you for allowing me to stalk you into making this movie. Look, I grew up in a generation of actors that revered your work. We all did. You influenced everybody in this room. You’re not only an incredible visionary, but you put the very fabric of our culture up on screen, and you’re a risk‑taker, and you’re a visionary. As the history of the cinema unfolds, you’ll be regarded as one of the great artists of our time. Thank you for your mentorship, and thank you for encouraging me to take risks on this movie.” – Leonardo DiCaprio

10:29 PM

Reese Witherspoon presents the clip for 12 Years a Slave.

10:35 PM

Chris Hemsworth and Formula One legend Niki Lauda present the clip for Rush.

10:37 PM

A very floral Drew Barrymore recaps the nominees for Best Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy and then presents the award. And the Golden Globe goes to American Hustle.

“My producing partners and I, Richard Suckle, Megan Ellison, John Gordon, we had the privilege of telling this particular story about the art of survival, about resilience and about reinvention. We also have to say that this film wouldn’t have been possible — and, of course, the award has to be shared with David Russell whose love and passion for these flawed but indomitable characters is etched on every frame of the film. Also, we were blessed to have the most amazing dream team of actors led by Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, and Jennifer Lawrence and Jeremy Renner.” – Charles Roven

10:44 PM

“And now like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio,” says Tina Fey. He’s presenting Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama. And the Golden Globe goes to Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine.

“…it’s been an extraordinary year, not only for cinema, but roles, women in particular, the last 10 years really. It’s impossible to do or even approach good work without working with good people. So to Woody Allen, who writes these things and directs these things with such alarming regularity that we sort of almost take him for granted. People like me are in his slipstream picking up these heavy things that make your biceps look great. So thank you, Woody, for calling me and not calling one of the other incredible women who are in the room this evening.” – Cate Blanchett

10:48 PM

Jessica Chastain, last year’s drama actress winner, is presenting Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama. And the Golden Globe goes to Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club.

“It’s a time like this that makes me want to say thank you to my mother for a real reason. When we were growing up, we weren’t movie kids, we weren’t TV kids, we weren’t media kids. If it was daylight, you had to be outside playing. We go, ‘Why, mom? Why can’t I just watch 30 minutes of TV?’ She goes, ‘Don’t watch somebody on TV do it. Go out there and do it for yourself.’ Now this many years later, that’s a pretty good recipe for an actor to go be the subject for whatever you’re doing. So thank you mom for that.” – Matthew McConaughey

10:56 PM

Johnny Depp saunters out (can he do it any other way?) to present Best Motion Picture – Drama. And the Golden Globe goes to 12 Years a Slave.

10:59 PM

Tina and Amy say goodnight.