Why all the Britney/Paris/Lindsay crotch photos?

Nov 29, 2006- Permalink

Britney Spears’ crotch made me write this. I haven’t blogged here in a bit as I’ve been working on the site’s backend programming, but the former Mrs. Kevin Federline’s vagina has been in the news the last couple of days and you can’t pass up making a comment about that.

Even abcnews.com wrote an article about Britney Spears and her up skirt photos. This of course leads to such bizarre occurrences as seeing an article about Britney’s crotch shots directly beneath a breaking news story about the possibility of U.S. troops pulling out of Iraq’s Al-Anbar province. The Marines want to pull out while we’re zooming in.

Why are her private parts public news? Well, until now, Britney’s crotch has kept to itself. We expect to see Paris Hilton crotch photos or Lindsay Lohan up skirt shots. Those two have shown us the goods so many times, you almost expect to see them in their family Christmas cards, wearing those $5 antlers you can buy at the convenience store. Not seeing a photo of their crotches during the week is like Thanksgiving without stuffing. It just doesn’t feel the same.

Some may blame the paparazzi for these graphic photographs, but come on. If you’re a paparazzi target and you’re wearing a micro miniskirt, don’t go commando. And what about hygiene? Can someone please wipe down the booth they just used at the restaurant before I sit there?

Gossip blogger Perez Hilton told ABC News that this trend isn’t an accident. Speaking about Lohan, Perez said that, “You’d think she’d either wear pants or panties, or be more careful about how she exits a car. Four times. That’s no accident. That’s deliberate.”

When you flash your vagina to the press four or five times in a month, you’re crying out for attention. When you’re a talentless hack like Paris Hilton, flashing your goods may be the only way to get attention. Britney used to have a singing career. Lindsay hasn’t had a hit movie since Mean Girls. Maybe it’s easier to let the world snatch a peek than to team up with a good songwriter or choose better scripts.

Let’s not forget that Britney is a mother of two, her C-section scar visible in some of the photographs. At least the kids will have something to remember Mom by when they surf the web in a few years.