Evans Above

Checked the mailbag and found a copy of Long Way Down, a follow up to 2005’s Long Way Round. While that series followed Ewan McGregor and pal Charley Boorman on a motorcycle trek ‘round the world, Long Way Round follows the two-wheeled duo as they make the journey north to south — from John O’Groats in Scotland to Cape Town in South Africa.

This time the usual damaged shocks and minor accidents occur amongst the stunning scenery of Africa, with Boorman and McGregor facing the obstacles of hazardous conditions and intricately choreographed border crossings.

The 3-disc set features the entire BBC 10-part series with two additional hours of episode footage. Two hours of extras include The Missing Face documentary, unseen footage, a photo gallery and interactive route maps.

The added pressure of completing this massive trip in just three months — Ewan had film commitments — adds to the excitement as the pair head out on their trek. As Xmas is on its way, this DVD would make the perfect gift for the armchair traveller.

Just watched my recording of John McCain’s appearance on David Letterman.

Man oh man, Letterman owned McCain during the interview. Hammered him on Palin and caught him off guard about G. Gordon Liddy.

Once again, as we witnessed four years ago, delegates at both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions spend an inordinate amount of time standing behind the CNN anchors. Talking on their cell phones, they wave their arms, because apparently the friend or loved one they’re speaking to is too dumb to recognize them just by their face.

There must be an official name for these people. Oh wait, there is: tools.

Apparently, the folks who run the Yonge & Eglinton location of the sports bar chain Philthy McNasty’s must think their regular clientèle are dumber than dirt.

It’s a very popular location. I live a few blocks away and on a Saturday night, with the windows open, I can usually hear the yelling and howling of their patrons as they leave or stand outside for a smoke. Yet this weekend — the big holiday, last weekend before school, final fling of summer Labour Day weekend — Philthy McNasty’s is closed.

Why are they closed? Well, according to a letter hanging in the window, they’ve decided to close down on one of the busiest weekends of the year for “renovations”. You know, like a flower shop closing on Valentine’s Day.

It seems a little crazy and not a great reason to shut down. Perhaps the real reason they’ve shut down until September 3rd — and I’m going out on a limb here — could be due to the big yellow shutdown notice from the Liquor Control Board of Ontario that says the tavern’s been closed for “permitting drunkenness”. It hangs about six inches away from the renovations letter.

Funnily enough, the now defunct Hooter’s restaurant in the area tried the same thing a few years back. At least they were “smart” enough to try and hide the fact that their wrists were being slapped by making their renovations signs the same yellow colour as the Liquor Control Board’s signs.

I really hate the pointless, filler-type articles that some entertainment areas run as “news”.

After exiting a Hotmail account, I noticed that my high-speed provider, Sympatico, was running an article alluding to a possible Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston reunion at September’s Toronto International Film Festival.

The article suggests that the ex-spouses “may meet on the red carpet at the prestigious annual event as Brad’s new movie Burn After Reading opens on September 5 while Jennifer’s film Management premieres on September 7.” The breathy article, from a British tabloid wire called BANG Media International, goes on to quote a source that suggests that, “It could be awkward for them both but I am sure their professionalism will ensure there are no public fireworks.”

As an 11-year veteran of covering TIFF I can strongly say that this article is complete and utterly useless space filler and BS.

Let’s look at the logistics: Jennifer Aniston’s film is premiering at the University of Toronto’s Isabel Bader Theatre, while Brad’s film premieres two days earlier at the Toronto Symphony’s home, Roy Thompson Hall. Ignoring the fact that the premieres are two days apart, the respective red carpets are, according to Google Maps, 3.6 kilometers apart. So, unless time and space folds, this accidental meeting is unlikely to happen.

Secondly, at the Toronto festival, very few stars not connected to the production walk the carpets. You might get the odd exception, like a few of Pitt’s Ocean’s 11 pals strolling the red carpet at The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford premiere, but otherwise, stars stick to their own premieres. And an ex-wife is surely not expected.

Thirdly, most stars are in and out at the Festival. The dumbest questions the local TV media asks (and this is relative since most TV media carpet questions are pointless anywhere in the world) are “How are you enjoying Toronto? Have you seen any other Festival films?”

Okay, again there are exceptions. A few people actually do check things out, but they’re either at TIFF for multiple films, schmoozing for more work, or in Toronto already for a film shoot and have time on their hands.

Most people, on the other hand, arrive in Toronto, do a day of press junkets, walk the red carpet, wave to the theatre audience, head out the back door, drop by a quick party to glad hand fellow industry types and head to the airport and back to the film they’re currently working on. I’ve frequently photographed someone at the Festival on one day and seen them on Letterman the next.

So file the article in question under “Fantasy”.

The net is abuzz with the recent Bigfoot story, where Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer claim to have found a Bigfoot corpse while hiking. Today, along with Bigfoot hunter Tom Biscardi, the trio held a press conference. Except for the photo that’s making the rounds, they offered up no new evidence and said more news would have to wait until after Monday.

“Starting Monday I should have assembled some fine scientists that will do the autopsy to find the origin and death of this creature, and at that point in time we will make it known and hopefully we’ll get somebody to come in and film it,” Biscardi said, “to show it to the world as it’s being done. I want to get to the bottom of it.”

Since it’s a slow entertainment news day, and it’s Friday, and what the heck, why not vote on our Bigfoot survey.

I find that I haven’t really watched much of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Perhaps watching corporations drool over airing sporting events in a repressive totalitarian police state isn’t my idea of a good time. Roger Ebert said the opening ceremonies reminded him of Leni Riefenstahl’s Nazi documentary Triumph of the Will.

The opening ceremonies were also tainted by the regime’s need to show a perfect face, literally, to the world.The musical director of the ceremonies, Chen Qigang, admitted that Ode to the Motherland wasn’t actually sung by the pig-tailed Lin Miaoke but rather by 7-year-old Yang Peiyi. Chen explained that, “The main consideration was the national interest. The child on the screen should be flawless in image, in her internal feelings and in her expression.”

Yang’s crime: her front teeth were crooked.

Another thing that bugs me about the Olympics is the fact that people get all patriotic about things they’d never watch normally. “Did ya see how we did in badminton last night?”

Really? How much of their entertainment dollar do you think they normally spend on badminton? Or gymnastics? Or even, dare I say it, swimming? Yet right now, Michael Phelps could probably run for president and win.

Well, maybe I’ll be more impressed with the Vancouver Olympics. At least they’ll be guaranteed to be a little less dictatorial.

Woke up early at 6:30 this morning and had a craving for a McDonald’s breakfast.

I head off to the Yonge & Eglinton location and while there, I was able to witness firsthand the results of the special comprehension training their staff are put through.

MCDONALD’S EMPLOYEE: Morning sir, can I take your order?

ME (in a clear and pleasant voice): Yes, good morning. I’ll have combo number three please with a medium orange juice to go.

MCDONALD’S EMPLOYEE: Number three?

ME: Yes.

MCDONALD’S EMPLOYEE: Just the sandwich?

ME: No, the combo please.

MCDONALD’S EMPLOYEE: What drink would you like?

ME: A medium orange juice…

MCDONALD’S EMPLOYEE: And that’s for here?

ME: No, to go.

See how efficiently the employee listened to my order and then proceeded to screw up every aspect of it? That takes special training.

Is Rogers capable of running a customer service site that doesn’t, well no other way to say this, SUCK?

Half the time that I go to the site to check on my account I get some form of error. Went to check my bill today and I received a 500 server error when went to view it. An hour later, that changed to a 502 proxy error.

Combine that with their ridiculous pricing plans for the iPhone and it really shows where their head is located.

Okay, so the fibre optics, microwaves, and two cans with a string that make up the internet are burning today with the news that more racy photos of Miley Cyrus, supposedly hacked off her cellphone, are out there. Miley in the shower with a wet t-shirt. Miley with her t-shirt tucked under her breasts as she pouts for the camera and blows a kiss. Miley with a donkey from Tijuana. What? Oh, I’ve just been informed the last one doesn’t exist. My bad.

This is not the first time that Miley Cyrus has been involved in a photo scandal involving photos she’s taken. Of course her handlers threw up a big smoke screen with the whole Annie Leibovitz/Vanity Fair cover shoot “scandal”. Yes, let’s get everyone talking about photos done for a magazine while handlers were around and make everyone forget that Miley’s hobbies include lifting her t-shirt up and pouting.

Of course, Miley’s career was created by Disney with Hannah Montana and what the Mouse giveth, the Mouse can taketh away. If your 15-year-old star can’t act like a Disney kid, well, they always have Camp Rock’s Demi Lovato ready to take her place as their golden child.

So the big question is: Will Disney dump Miley Cyrus?

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