Evans Above

So, Ashlee Simpson had her lip-synching exposed on SNL last night when the track for her first performance of the night started playing as she was supposed to be performing her second set of the night.

Ashlee did a lil’ jig, zipped off the stage, and at the end of the show blamed it all on her band, saying that they played the wrong song. Of course, the band wasn’t playing when the track started.

Ashlee isn’t one of those dancing fool performers like Britney, so why couldn’t she play the darn songs live?

Sigh…

Whatever happened to “happily ever after”?

First Britney annuls her marriage to Jason Alexander, though the pair did try to give it 48+ hours, but now word is out that handbag designer Nicky Hilton (the Hilton sister without a sex tape) and Todd Meister are looking for an annulment after 2 months of wedded bliss. Perhaps she finally realized that her hubby’s name sounds like some frat greeting:

“Hey, it’s Todd! Todd-O-Rama! The Todd-Meister! Todd Meister’s gonna buy the beer!”

All I can say is that this Federline thing better last.

It’s the worse thing a blogger can do. The “sorry I haven’t posted in a while” post.

Well, I’ll plead guilty, but I do think I have a few good excuses. Besides getting ready for covering the 10 days of the 29th Toronto International Film Festival, we’ve also finally moved to our own dedicated server, which meant tweaking a few things here and there. I also think I discovered a new time: 6:30 a.m. Hadn’t seen that one before.

According to a report on Reuters, the Dutch government is proposing to ban unsolicited toe-licking after the lack of a law prevented them from prosecuting a toe-licker.

Apparently, the man in question would sneak up on sunbathers in Rotterdam and begin licking their toes without permission. According to a police spokesperson, “The officers had to let him go. Licking a stranger’s toes is rather unusual but there is really nothing criminal about it.”

Once the whole toe-licking issue is dealt with, Dutch daycare workers hope the government will focus on ankle-biters.

I’m having a real chuckle watching coverage of the Democratic National Convention on CNN.

Whenever the talking heads are talking and the pundits are, um, punditing, a crowd of delegates stands behind them, smiling, waving, and talking on their cell phones. The panel could be talking about the most serious of topics, but some yahoo will be on his Nokia saying, “Listen, turn the channel to CNN…no, Tivo Trading Spaces…okay…okay…see me? I’m over Tucker’s left shoulder. No, he’s the one with the bow tie. Okay, watch, I’ll wave at you.”

Shouldn’t they be doing stuff like discussing platforms or something?

I received spam today promising me that I could be debt free in 2003.

2003.

Okay, screw the debt payments, I want their friggin’ time machine!

Ohmigod, it’s June 30th. You realize that we’re halfway to the Oscar cutoff date.

Just wonderin’:

Will Paris Hilton’s sex video, One Night in Paris, be available on the Hilton Hotels’ in-room video-on-demand?

Zoinks, I haven’t done an entry in over a month. Maybe it was Post-Brie Trauma Syndrome.

I was out with friends the other night and one of the goodies offered to please our palates was a tray of cheeses and various crackers.

Everyone had his or her eyes on a large wedge of “ Brie. We all grabbed crackers and prepared to attack it…then it happened.

One of the people there grabbed the Brie in both hands. Sinking her thumbs into it, she tugged it into two pieces, slapped one giant piece on a tiny cracker, and then walked off, dropping some of the Brie in the process.

We were dumbfounded. We were also grossed out by what she did and decided that the other half could enjoy adorning the tray for the rest of the night. Before anything could be said she walked back and made off with the rest of the Brie.

Needless to say, we were cheesed off.