Evans Above

Every once in a while, an epic historical movie comes along that stirs the soul and moves the heart. This is NOT that movie.

The Last Legion weaves the fall of the Roman Empire into the Arthurian legend by following the life of the young Roman Emperor Romulus Augustus (Thomas Sangster), his mentor Ambrosinus (Ben Kingsley), his sworn defender Aurelius (Colin Firth) and a beautiful, deadly female warrior, Mira (Aishwarya Rai).

Rome has fallen to the invading Goths and Firth and his loyal soldiers take a stand to defend the final Caesar after making their way to the last legion in Britannia. Unfortunately, the Goths must have looted the film’s budget as well. What should be epic battles seem to involve a few hundred combatants without the CGI-generated swarms of warriors we’re now used to. There are also a few visual effects shots here that even a first year computer animation student would decide not to submit for marks.

What should be a sweeping epic instead comes across like a TV movie from the History Channel and perhaps this film works better as a DVD then as a big screen experience, especially as it only clocks in at just over 90 minutes. It’s the sort of film you’d find yourself watching on a Sunday afternoon when it’s raining out. It’s mildly entertaining, elicits a few chuckles (both intentional and not), and Firth is likable as ever. It just never attains the grandeur we expect from this sort of film.

It’s pretty easy to see how they assembled such an all-star cast. Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai was looking for another foot in Hollywood’s door. Ben Kingsley was looking for a cheque. Finally, Colin Firth thought that this might be his only chance to play a Roman general and if someone was going to offer him an action film, he better take it.

Even the extras feel a bit half-hearted. A few deleted scenes. Some raw footage of fight choreography. A trailer and a “Making of…” segment.

The Last Legion probably won’t hurt too many people’s careers. Audiences would have to see it first for that to happen.

Two items arrived in the mail yesterday that are definitely worth talking about. The first is Paul McCartney’s Memory Almost Full – CD/DVD Deluxe Edition. This package is comprised of Macca’s new CD and a DVD featuring concert footage from a concert at The Electric Ballroom in London as well as videos for “Dance Tonight” and “Ever Present Past”.

Paul’s having fun on this CD. The energy’s there and it actually feels a bit like a Wings album. I may not be the biggest fan of “Dance Tonight” but Paul rocks and wails through tunes like “Only Mama Knows” and “Gratitude”. “Mr. Bellamy” could have been an extra track from Sgt. Peppers and “Nod Your Head” shows that a senior McCartney stills likes the wail of guitars.

Paul’s having a ton of fun here and it doesn’t feel like he’s going to stop anytime soon.

The other package in the mail was the remastered and expanded deluxe version of U2’s The Joshua Tree, which has been released in honour of the album’s 20th anniversary.

The Joshua Tree was U2’s first album to reach #1 in the United States. The album also won the Irish lads Album Of The Year and Best Rock Performance By A Group Or Duo at the Grammy Awards.

Some of U2’s most memorable tunes are here: “Where The Streets Have No Name”, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”, and “With or Without You” start off the first CD. The second CD is comprised of rarities and B-sides from the album’s sessions. The package also contains a 36 page bound book that features Bill Flanagan’s liner notes, an essay by The Edge, photos by Anton Corbijn and handwritten lyrics by Bono.

Toss either of these releases under the tree and you’re sure to please a music lover.

While some people’s thoughts at Christmas turn to the man in the red suit, country fans might find their thoughts drifting to the man in black.

Shout Factory has released two new DVDs Johnny Cash Christmas 1976 and Johnny Cash Christmas 1977. The Country Music Hall of Famer teams up with other musical legends in these two Xmas TV specials chock full of music.

In the 1976 special, Cash and wife June Carter Cash invite pop star Tony Orlando and country great Roy Clark to their family farm in Bon Aqua, Tennessee. In this segment of the show, they perform hits and classics like “Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree”, “Far Away Places” and “That Lucky Old Sun”. Later Clark and Orlando join Cash in a medley of Stephen Foster classics including “Camptown Races”, Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair” and “Oh! Susanna”.

Later in the special, Johnny and June head to their home in Hendersonville, where they joined by Merle Travis, Barbara Mandrell, the Carter Family and Billy Graham.

In the 1977 special, filmed at the Grand Ol’ Opry two months after Elvis’ death, Cash pays tribute to Presley by inviting along the other artists that worked with Elvis at Sun Records: Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison and Jerry Lee Lewis. Besides singing some of their hits, they also pay tribute to Elvis’ love of gospel by signing “This Train Is Bound For Glory”.

Roy Clark makes his second appearance on a Cash Xmas show, and he and Johnny pay tribute to the Gene Autry Christmas classics “Here Comes Santa Claus”, Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Cash and the gang are also joined by the Statler Brothers. The entire cast of the special then join Johnny and June in a closing rendition of “Children Go Where I Send Thee.”

Fans of Cash or the big ol’ Xmas variety shows will love these two new DVDs.

An amazing package landed in the mailbag today. Apple Corps Ltd. has released a newly restored DVD of The Beatles’ 1965 film Help!. Actually, let’s make that lovingly restored, as each frame of this DVD looks great and sounds fantastic.

The first disc of this two disc set features the film with an amazing 5.1 soundtrack, while the second disc is packed with goodies like a 30 minute documentary with director Richard Lester that also features a behind the scenes footage of the Fab Four, several theatrical trailers, and another doc looking at the scene by scene, frame by frame restoration of the film. The set also includes a booklet that contains an essay by Martin Scorsese outlining the importance of the film.

A deluxe version of the DVD set is also available. This package includes a shooting script and additional goodies.

Dancing with the Stars judge Len Goodman created a firestorm on the ABC message boards Monday night when he made the following crack:

“Just because you come from Brazil doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to be good at the Samba. In the same way, just because you come from Texas doesn’t mean to say you’re going to be a good President.”

Some viewers were up in arms and demanded that ABC ship the Brit judge back overseas, while other viewers have this thing called a sense of humor. So what do you think of Len’s comments?

Sigh.

New crotch photos of Britney Spears have appeared on the gossip sites and the sad star is not wearing underwear again.

She’s already lost custody of her two boys. Did she lose custody of her panties as well?

The band KISS has always epitomized the “go big or go home” mentality. So when they release a DVD package for their fans you know it’s not going to be some flimsy little package. Their latest release, Kiss: Kissology Volume II 1978-1991, contains 4 discs and 407 minutes of material. You read that right, over 6 and a half hours of material.

Now while the film KISS in Attack of the Phantoms won’t be making the AFI’s best lists anytime soon, the inclusion of the infamous Tom Snyder interview alone is almost worth the price of admission. Add to that some mini-docs and concerts from Australia, Brazil, and the US and you have a package that’s sure to be on the wishlist of any member of the KISS Army.

By now, everyone has seen the video of Miss Teen South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton, making her oddly rambling answer about “U.S. Americans” and their ability to read maps. But have you see the video of her parents in the audience?

Tuning into the Sydney portion of Live Earth and can’t wait for the set by Crowded House.

I really like what CTV Globemedia is doing with their coverage here in Toronto. They own several nets and specialty channels so while they’ve got edited “best of” coverage on the main CTV network, they’ll be showing the unedited feeds of the different cities on their other channels. E.g., when they’re changing sets between bands in Sydney, you get a feed of the stage. Meanwhile, I’ve got Tokyo going in the PIP window. It’s the next best thing to being in the master control room.

While some people started a petition to pardon their beloved icon, porn starlet Paris Hilton, others think it’s only appropriate to make sure that she does the time with a Don’t Free Paris Hilton petition. Sign away.