Evans Above

Britney Spears’ crotch made me write this. I haven’t blogged here in a bit as I’ve been working on the site’s backend programming, but the former Mrs. Kevin Federline’s vagina has been in the news the last couple of days and you can’t pass up making a comment about that.

Even abcnews.com wrote an article about Britney Spears and her up skirt photos. This of course leads to such bizarre occurrences as seeing an article about Britney’s crotch shots directly beneath a breaking news story about the possibility of U.S. troops pulling out of Iraq’s Al-Anbar province. The Marines want to pull out while we’re zooming in.

Why are her private parts public news? Well, until now, Britney’s crotch has kept to itself. We expect to see Paris Hilton crotch photos or Lindsay Lohan up skirt shots. Those two have shown us the goods so many times, you almost expect to see them in their family Christmas cards, wearing those $5 antlers you can buy at the convenience store. Not seeing a photo of their crotches during the week is like Thanksgiving without stuffing. It just doesn’t feel the same.

Some may blame the paparazzi for these graphic photographs, but come on. If you’re a paparazzi target and you’re wearing a micro miniskirt, don’t go commando. And what about hygiene? Can someone please wipe down the booth they just used at the restaurant before I sit there?

Gossip blogger Perez Hilton told ABC News that this trend isn’t an accident. Speaking about Lohan, Perez said that, “You’d think she’d either wear pants or panties, or be more careful about how she exits a car. Four times. That’s no accident. That’s deliberate.”

When you flash your vagina to the press four or five times in a month, you’re crying out for attention. When you’re a talentless hack like Paris Hilton, flashing your goods may be the only way to get attention. Britney used to have a singing career. Lindsay hasn’t had a hit movie since Mean Girls. Maybe it’s easier to let the world snatch a peek than to team up with a good songwriter or choose better scripts.

Let’s not forget that Britney is a mother of two, her C-section scar visible in some of the photographs. At least the kids will have something to remember Mom by when they surf the web in a few years.

Christmas came early the other day as I received a review copy of Apocalypse Now – The Complete Dossier.

Let’s start with the basics: the DVD comes with both the 153 minute 1979 theatrical version of the film as well as Coppola’s extended 2001 version, the 202 minute Apocalypse Now Redux. Slap on a director’s commentary and I’d be happy right there, but this DVD has over two hours of bonus materials that make it a master class on Coppola’s work.

The DVD includes twelve never-before-seen scenes that were left on the cutting room floor, an outtake of Marlon Brando’s complete reading of T.S. Eliot’s poem The Hollow Men, a look at the sound design, color palette, and music. There’s also a reunion of the “PBR Streetgang.”

I’ll be spending many hours with this classic film and both filmlovers and filmmakers would do well to add this DVD to their collection.

Paris Hilton has told British GQ that “I’m not having sex for a year…I’ll kiss, but nothing else.”

In related news, the World Health Organization and Center for Disease Control will be keeping a close eye on whether it’ll have any effect on the future of pandemics.

The Smoking Gun has obtained a letter sent to Lindsay Lohan by Morgan Creek CEO James G. Robinson. Robinson blames her lates and absences from the set of Georgia Rule on her “ongoing all night heavy partying.”

He also goes on to say that Lindsay better shape up or face the financial consequences.

Don Park neatly sums up North Korean nutbag Kim Jong-Il.

Just catching up on the mailbox…we had a couple of items arrive recently but I’ve been swamped and haven’t written about them. So now I’m making amends.

The first item is Unexpected Dreams: Songs from the Stars. The CD is the brainchild of “vocal coach to the stars” Eric Vetro. It’s a collection of soothing children’s ballads whose proceeds are going to support the Los Angeles Philharmonica’s “Music Matters” music education program.

The CD’s performances include a sultry rendition of “Summertime” by Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Iron’s great take on Bob Dylan’s “Make You Feel My Love” and Victor Garber with the Into the Woods classic, “No One Is Alone.”

Toss in John Stamos singing Billy Joel, Nia Vardalos and Teri Hatcher singing The Beatles, and Ewan McGregor singing Sade and you have a CD that will have you and your kids reaching for a teddy bear and a blankie. A sweet CD for a great cause.

The next item in the mailbag is Barry Manilow – Manilow: Music and Passion. It’s a DVD of the 100th performance of Manilow’s wildly successful show at the Las Vegas Hilton. Besides renditions of Manilow’s greatest hits, the DVD also includes behind-the-scenes looks at the creation of both the stage show and the TV special celebrating it. The DVD is well shot, the music crisp and the extras are quite informative.

Manilow explains that the non-touring stage show gives him the chance to do stage effects that would be too costly to ship from city to city on a tour. He’s also aware of the challenges of a long-running show, saying that after the first few months of fans, he realized he was playing to audiences that had heard of him, but didn’t really know what he and his music were about.

To get the real Vegas experience, watch Manilow’s DVD and then give all your money to a total stranger.

When you’re talking about influential TV series that illustrate changing times, you have to mention That Girl.

The Marlo Thomas sitcom premiered in 1966 and followed actress Ann Marie in NYC. What made it stick out for its time was the fact that Ann Marie was single, living on her own, and pursuing her career. She had a boyfriend, but much to the chagrin of her parents, she was in no rush to get married until she was ready.

Shout! Factory has just released the first season of the series on DVD. We received a copy of it and it looks fantastic. Thirty episodes, commentary from Marlo Thomas, and a behind-the-scenes look at the show’s creation. The documentary detailing the show’s creation is particularly interesting, as it details the various changes in casting and role formats.

If you’re looking for groundbreaking series, hit the stores and get your hands on this DVD. Here’s a Quicktime preview.

Last year for the May sweeps period, Entertainment Tonight covered the Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau wedding.

This year, both ET and its even crappier sister show, The Insider, are spending time breaking up “reunion” interviews with Joey Buttafuoco, Mary Jo Buttafuoco and the “Long Island Lolita”, Amy Fisher, into bite-sized morsels they can spread over several episodes.

Again, I have to ask: Isn’t ET supposed to be covering entertainment news? If the three stooges I just mentioned had at one time been actors or industry figures, then perhaps this attention would make some sense. The fact that ET’s paying them for these interviews really shows how far they’ll stoop for ratings.

Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush, who has a blog over at their site finds ET kinda distasteful as well. The guy’s an enjoyable read. He knows the arena he’s in can be goofy and trivial and will even call himself out when he thinks Access has taken themselves too seriously.

I’ll talk more about this later, but if you get a chance, see the Al Gore documentary about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth. If you don’t buy a hybrid after seeing it, there’s got to be something wrong.

Votefortheworst.com has gathered together various sources to show that American Idol’s Kellie Pickler is doing a fine acting job playing the hick.